Long time, no post
Hi, guys! It has been WEEKS since my last update maybe even a month I’m not sure. I’m sorry for ghosting life got crazy busy all at once and I was barely keeping on top of my normal day - to - day much less being able to find time to sit down and write a blog post.
So, cancer. I’m 6/8 cycles deep. The last two cycles have been polar opposites. My fifth cycle I was legit dead to the world for 5 almost 6 days. I would wake up for maybe 15-20 minutes per day but otherwise I was asleep. It was miserable. I felt horrible. I even ended up with chemical burns in places I don’t even want to mention due to chemo filled secretions. Disgusting…I know tell me about it. In this cycle, I also learned I’m showing signs of liver disease due to the effects of the chemo on my body. The numbers still aren’t the best but we are rolling with it.
My sixth cycle was completely different. Liver numbers still aren’t the best BUT I was up and functioning on Saturday (three days after infusion + one day after my pump came off) which has never happened during this journey. Thanks to someone’s recommendation, I requested to get IV fluids the day my pump came off and it made a world of difference. Another thing that helped was having my Mother in Law here. My check up appointment after my fifth cycle was a little scary (Hiedi + Nora were on FaceTime during it with me so I didn’t have to be alone) and they decided after hearing what the doctor had to say, that Mimi would come and stay with us until the end of my IV chemo treatments. When they told me that on the phone after my appointment, I started to cry. My family didn’t prioritize me at all when I got diagnosed nor have any of them made an efffort to be here for me throughout this. Having someone say “you’re the priority right now and we are here for you” was something I’m not used to hearing and I would have never asked anyone to do that for me so I’m thankful they decided for me. I suck at asking for help. We are working on it haha.
Having Mimi here has been a god send. She makes me wake up and eat/drink/wash my face during pump days when I’m usually comatose. She’s helping with the kids. Shes cooking for us. She’s here to talk sense into me when I’m spiraling after bad blood work numbers come in for the millionth time. Just having motherly support during a time like this is unmatched and irreplaceable and I’ll never be able to thank them enough for dropping everything going on in their lives to be here for me and Adam.
Another life moment that happened in my absence, my Quinny girl started school! She’s been doing amazing and I’m so proud of her. She was so happy + excited to go. When I first got diagnosed, I had a moment when I thought “I’m going to be bald in all her back to school photos” but guess who still has a (thinned out but still here!) head full of hair.
This journey has been the most insane roller coaster and while finishing the IV chemo portion isn’t the end at all by no means, I’m so ready to be at that finish line and face the next battle of radiation + chemo pill. I keep saying “almost done, almost done” and get reminded okay but you still have so much left before surgery but in this situation, I have to take it treatment by treatment over the big picture because I can mentally process/handle that better. Two more cycles. I am set to get my next one tomorrow at 7am and my FINAL iv treatment September 7th. I have felt every spectrum of emotions during this period and around the halfway point it got dark and low. I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and got some encouragement from my girl Taylor when “Only the Young” came on shuffle the other day and left me teary (let’s be honest, what doesn’t make me cry these days) when she said “Don't say you're too tired to fight, It's just a matter of time (so run) Up there's the finish line, And run, and run, and run” I’m sprinting to that finish line. I’m almost there.