3/8
Today was my third infusion out of 8. I woke up so tired and rundown. No part of me wanted to go and the dread built with every step of my morning routine, getting the kids ready, dropping them off to my sweet friends house, grabbing a medicine ball from my fav barista to shoot the shit with, and then heading into the lab with Adam. My mind was screaming don’t go, stop, what are you doing? haha. This is all worth it and I am glad to do it in exchange for growing old with Adam and watching him go more bald (sorry baby love u), watching the queen boss everyone around through school and hopefully go on to rule the world, and watch maxy just be the sweetest yet most frustrated lil ever.
My chemo nurse is always a breath of fresh air and I love her so much. She shares my love for Harry styles and even put his better homes & gardens cover in the window for me to look at my entire infusion lol. I slept a for a lot of it today which is always nice. I woke up part way through and had to use the restroom so I got up and grabbed my IV pole to wheel with me and it was too cold for me to touch. I’ve never had my cold sensitivity set in so quickly. My hands on the way home were too weak to even hold my phone.
Once home I had some broth and prepared tea then passed out before even drinking my tea. I love the days when I can just sleep it off. Once I woke up, I went down to take a walk with adam and the kids, then Quinn and I put a puzzle together. Things so minimal but are so nice that I’m feeling up to doing today. During our walk it was a beautiful 68 degrees with a small sea breeze but to me it legit felt like I was walking in the middle of a snow storm. The air when breathing through my nose felt like it was freezing the snot in my nostrils. This is literally the weirdest side effect and I’ll never get over it.
I have my pump friend back and he will drip for two days and get removed Thursday morning. It makes a sound every time it pumps medicine out and every single time I think of the scene in Harry Potter where Dumbledore took Harry retrieve the locket from the cave and had to drink the Drink of Despair in order to get the locket and he’s screaming at Harry each time he pours it into his mouth. I am Dumbledore and my pump is Harry. Thankfully this is only 48 hours and then it’s done but omg. the pump is enemy number 1. Eventually I will create a ring of fire, just like Dumbledore, and escape this dreadful cave I’m stuck in. Two more months. I can do this.
As always, I’m so thankful for everyone’s support. The meals, gifts, encouraging messages are what get me through and have kept adam and the kids fed when I’m not feeling up to it. I originally had my meal train ending next week but extended it to mid-August as that’s when my last infusion is and I will stop it after that last infusion week. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone 🤍