My Diagnosis
Hi. I haven’t blogged since middle / high school xanga days and the extent of those were probably “~i LuV kEvIn JoNaS~“ because I was jo bro obsessed and Kevin was always my favorite. Anywayssss, I thought throughout this journey, if I feel up to it, I could do a few blog entries to update family/friends and just to get the endless ramblings that are on constant loop in my head out onto a canvas.
I don’t consider myself good with words or think I have anything super deep/inspiring to offer through this blog. I just feel as though it could be beneficial for my mental well being.
My name is Codi Wilcox which you probably already know from my website. I am married to the love of my life and we share two littles together. Quinn who is almost 5 and max who just turned 3. I also have two beautiful children from a previous marriage, Oliver who turns TEN this year which is absolutely insane that I’m about to have a kid in double digits…and Emmalyn who is about to turn 8.
I recently got diagnosed with colorectal cancer after a doctor found a 5cm tumor in my “distal rectum” (so fun to talk about with people…hahaha). This discovery came after a year long back and forth struggle. I’ve had stomach/bowel issues as long as I can remember. Around a year ago, they got somewhat worse. I started seeing a lot of blood after using the restroom. I had the constant feeling that I had to go even though most of the times I would try nothing would come out other than bloody mucus (so gross, tmi sorry). I decided to go to my primary care about it and they did every kind of test under the sun. After a few months, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and was told to change my diet to cut out dairy, gluten, sugar, basically everything delicious and fun. After doing this for a few months in conjunction with medication they put me on, the blood I was seeing didn’t get any better. Finally (after almost a year of tests and appointments) my doctor ordered a colonoscopy. This was the day my life as I knew it changed forever.
I went in for the procedure after grueling prep and was just so ready to get it over with so I could finally eat after two days of a liquid diet and then completely emptying my body of anything that was inside. It was actual torture and all I could think about was the In-n-Out burger I was going to get to have after I was done with the procedure. I go back and they have me change and get on the table to start the anesthesia. I usually do really well under anesthesia but of course during the worst procedure, I woke up in the middle. Since the doctors were behind me, no one realized I was awake. I wanted to speak up and say something but it was also kinda cool seeing the insides of my bowels on the screen in front of me. I saw what I now know is the tumor that has taken residency in my asshole on the screen and thought to myself “okay, that doesn’t look right but I’m not a doctor so who knows”. They finish the procedure and wheel me to recovery. The gentleman in the room next to me and myself were the last two patients of the day. I could hear him getting dressed and them saying his wife is waiting in the lobby and that he can walk out to her when he was ready. The nurse came in and told me to wait for the doctor before getting dressed. I then can hear the doctor asking “is the husband here yet?” And then him telling the nurse to escort him to my recovery room. Once Adam was with me the doctor came in to deliver the news. I can honestly tell you that I don’t remember a word he said past cancer. I pulled a Nick Miller and my mind panic moonwalked away from that situation. Now that I’m thinking about it I really can’t remember the rest of that day. It was all such a shock and blur.
Since then it’s been a whirlwind of appointments, tears, fighting with insurance, more tears, and just chaos. This past month and a half has felt like a whole year has passed and I’m so thankful to be finally starting treatment. I plan to share more of the process from diagnosis to treatment in my next blog post since this one is already pretty long ( but let’s be completely honest, I have adhd and may not even ever return to write another one but I’m hoping I do!). Thank you for taking your time to read this. Thank you for any support, nice words, commiserating you’ve offered. I don’t have a ton of support as far as family goes but having the CWP community behind me has meant everything to me and I’m forever grateful.
I have so many people asking how they can help and while I am not someone to ask for help at all—my neighbor created a meal train website for me and my family. You’re able to sign up to deliver a meal in person or send meal delivery gift cards. I can also list my email, socials, and Venmo. Please feel free to share your cancer story with me, any uplifting stories you have, or if your cat just did something really cute and you have a video…yeah that would be helpful too!
Email: codiwilcox@gmail.com
Venmo: @codiwil